Jerry Springer: My Life Is Charmed
by Dues Ex
Summary: The Charmed cast decides to resolve their family issues on the Jerry Springer show Rated M for crude comedy, violence, sex old fic but I still love it
1. The Demon and the Witch

Disclaimer- I don't own Jerry Springer or the Charmed characters. Please don't sue me cause I'm only a little kid and I don't need to be in court anymore plus I'm in enough trouble already.  
  
Jerry Springer- My Life Is Charmed  
  
~_~_~_~_~_Summary~_~_~_~_~_~_  
  
The Charmed Characters go own the Springer show to resolve some family problems and revel some horribly (hilarious) secrets!  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
#1- The Demon and the Witch  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
Jerry walks out holding a pad and a microphone and junk and shit like that. The crowd claps really loud.  
  
"OW C'MON PEOPLE YOU GUYS KNOW YOU ONLY COME TO MY SHOW TO SEE SOME TITS AND ASS!" Jerry screamed and slammed the microphone on the ground.  
  
"Um.I'm sorry excuse me *ahem* well today is dedicated to witches and the paranormal.ohhhh.ahhhh!-"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET TO THE TITS JERRY!" somebody screamed. Jerry's eyes got watery.  
  
"Excuse the fuck outta me shit all I-"I SAID SHOW SOME TITS!" "Okay then lets bring out the guest. She's one of the most powerful witches in the world and one third of the Charmed Ones-"TITS!" "Phoebe Halliewell."  
  
Phoebe walks out of a doorway wearing a short black leather skirt and a leather jacket with no shirt but her black silk bra and high heels that stop at her knees. "Hello Jerry." She said sweetly. "Hello Phoe- "TITS!" Jerry took out a gun and shot the guy. "*ahem* now as I was saying hello Phoe-"TITS!"  
  
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! Jerry ran out of bullets so he threw the gun at the guy then tried to regain his composure. "HEEEELLLLOOO PHOEBE HALLIWELL!" he screamed daring anyone to say anything.  
  
"Now Phoebe you are on this show today because?" Jerry said in the whitest voice he could make. Phoebe crossed her legs showing she was wearing a black TIGHT thong. "Well I'm here to confront my husband or ex- husband Cole Turner because he's a demon." She said simply. Jerry looked shocked. "Um okay so what's wrong with that? A demon and a witch I thought he turned over a new leaf and all that like you said in the back?"  
"Well yea but I killed him twice so he's mad at me and he won't give me no more dick.and lord knows he was hung as a horse." Phoebe started watering at the mouth.  
  
"TITS!"  
  
"Next muthafucka that says tits is gonna die muthafucka you niggas think I'm soft! I'ma show you muthafuckas how Jerry gets down muthafucka!"  
  
It got quiet the Phoebe stood up and flashed her tits. "Those are nice." Jerry said under his breath. "Okay let's bring out Cole." Cole walked out and sat next to Phoebe he was wearing all blue with a bandanna on and his pants sagging with some white air force ones and blue shoe strings and he had died his hair blonde. "Hello Cole." Jerry said looking back for somebody to scream tits again. "Wassup dog how's it be hanging G?" Cole said.  
  
"So Mr. Turner heard-"naw dog my name is Slick T from Southside Demon-Hood Crips." Cole interrupted Jerry. "Um okay Slick T so how's it been?"  
  
"well cuz I gotta say cuz that you need to shut the fuck up and ask me some fuck'n questions for I throw a fireball at ya ass and smoke you like some dirty slob cuz" Cole said.  
  
"Um do you love Phoebe?" Jerry stuttered. "Naw cuz I hate that bitch ass hoe she tried to kill me twice that's on the hood if she touch me I'ma beat her ass cuz." Cole said throwing up some dumb fuck gang sign.  
  
"Hoe oh hell naw it's on now!" Phoebe levitated and kicked Cole into the wall. He got up and pulled out an uzi and started blasting like he was Tommy Vercettie off Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.  
  
"YOU DON'T KICK ME BITCH THIS SOUTHSIDE DEMON-HOOD CRIPS CUZ!" he shot up everything.  
  
"How did he get that gun on the show?" Jerry asked the floor.  
  
"Coles an asshole and you all know it. I make a spell up in my head then I flow it. Kill that cock strangler dead as a doornail. Please oh please god  
don't let this weak ass spell fail!"  
  
Cole blew up filling the room with chunks of demon shit. Jerry stood up and smiled. "Well when we get back from our commercial break we'll have the next half of our show." The crowd went crazy when Phoebe took her cloths off and started dancing but naked on the stage.  
  
-TO BE CONTINUED.  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_  
  
Hey another fiction. I posted this before but they took it down so I reposted it with a higher rating and an even higher warning in the description. The part about Cole being a gang banger.I'm not a gang banger if you're thinking that right now but a lot of my friends are. I just thought it was funny as hell making Cole do something new. Oh and that part where Jerry was acting ghetto I got that part off Martin Lawrence movie Run Tell Dat its hilarious you have to watch it if you having already and if you have watch it again!.stay tuned cause after this commercial break is over the next segment will be..  
  
The Witch and the White Elder 


	2. The Witch and the Elder

Disclaimer- I don't own Jerry Springer or the Charmed characters. Please don't sue me cause I'm only a little kid and I don't need to be in court anymore plus I'm in enough trouble already.  
  
Jerry Springer- My Life Is Charmed  
  
~_~_~_~_~_Summary~_~_~_~_~_~_  
  
The Charmed Characters go own the Springer show to resolve some family problems and revel some horribly (hilarious) secrets!  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
#2- The Witch and the Elder  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
Jerry waves his hands to silence the crowd. Phoebe really got them going. "Okay all right calm d-"PHOEBE ROCKS!" "I said calm down! THIS IS MY SHOW DAMN IT! NOT THE PHOEBE NAKED SHOW THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW!"  
  
"IT SHOULD BE THE PHOBE NAKED SHOW!" Jerry turned red, yellow, black, blue, pink, brown, tan, magenta, hot pink, sky blue...blah, blah, blah, blah, bladdy-blah-blah-blah! Then he finally turned his normal color.  
  
"*ahem* now as I was saying lets bring out the next guest. She's the eldest Charmed One.Piper Halliwell."  
  
Piper walks out with a black skirt and a pink shirt with one sleeve missing and matching high heel pink open toe shoes. She sat down and crossed her legs a censored sign flashed.  
  
"oww." The crowd said looking at the censor sign.  
  
"Hello Piper."  
  
"Hello Jerry."  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"What are you here for?"  
  
"I caught my husband cheating."  
  
"Oh probably with one of your fine ass sisters huh?" "TAKE IT OFF PIPER!"  
  
"Shut up please. So Piper what are you here for again?" Jerry said.  
  
"To tell my husband Leo that I caught him cheating."  
  
"Does he know why he's here?"  
  
"No I haven't told him."  
  
"Well let's bring out Leo shall we!"  
  
Leo walks out and all the women go crazy. Leo grins and starts dancing like a stripper while the crowd screams "TAKE IT OFF!"  
  
"LEO SIT YOR ASS DOWN NOW!" Piper screams and Leo quickly sits down. "So Leo do you have any idea-"PHOEBE ROCKS!"  
  
"Next muthafucka that interrupts me one have to catch my fade!" Jerry screamed into the microphone. "*ahem* now Leo do you have any idea why you are here?" Leo looked confused. "No so can we get this over with I have uh business to attend to." Leo broke into a cold sweat.  
  
"You ain't got no fucking business to attend to!" Piper screamed. "You jus want to go back to the Gay Men's Strip Joint!"  
  
Steve holds up a sign that says gasp and the crowd gasps. "The fine ones are always gay!" a girl shouted from the crowd. "It's not a gay strip joint it's a gay men's lounge get it right, okay?" the crowd gasps even more. "Leo how could you I'm all the love you'll ever need." Piper began. "These weren't good enough for you?" Piper pulled her shirt off and put her boobies in Leo's face.  
  
He licks here and there and drools. "Yes they are but there's something missing." Piper gave him a hurt look. "What their not big enough? I can get implants."  
  
"No I mean no their big enough but you don't have a fat juicy delicious cum dripping cock."  
  
The crowd gasps and women faint. "There's just something about a cock that..WHEW! I LOVE UM!"  
  
"But why?" Piper asked.  
  
"Oh no the elders are calling me!" Leo said.  
  
"You fool you are an elder!" Leo tried to orb but Piper blew him up.  
She took off her cloths and put her hands on her naked hips. "Now who wants to give Piper some cock?" the whole audience started running towards Piper.  
  
"We'll be right back after this commercial break..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A wave of horny audience members start trampling Jerry.  
  
"GO TO A COMMERCIAL!" Jerry screamed from under a foot. 


	3. I’m cheating With a Witch or whatever…

Disclaimer- I don't own Jerry Springer or the Charmed characters. Please don't sue me cause I'm only a little kid and I don't need to be in court anymore plus I'm in enough trouble already.  
  
Jerry Springer- My Life Is Charmed  
  
~_~_~_~_~_Summary~_~_~_~_~_~_  
  
The Charmed Characters go own the Springer show to resolve some family problems and revel some horribly (hilarious) secrets!  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
#3- I'm cheating With a Witch or whatever..  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
"Okay welcome back." Jerry said his cloths was torn and ripped plus he had footprints all over his body. They had got Piper off the stage after the horny men from the audience had settled down. (a/n It was sticky)  
  
"Now its time for our next guest.please welcome local police officer Darrell- um there's a smug over the last name." Jerry says in a sad way.  
  
Darrell walks out wearing a police uniform and a gun at his side even though he never wore one on the show. "Hello Darrell." "wassup Jerry." "What's with the gun?" Darrell looked surprised. "Shit you seen what Phoebe and Piper did to Cole and Leo. My wife will probably do the same thing."  
  
"Wait but your wife is human?" Jerry asked. Darrell nodded. "But she's a married middle aged black woman from the ghetto.have you ever been to the ghetto? Those bitches be crazy!" Jerry nodded with improvement like is white ass has ever been to any kind of ghetto besides downtown Malibu. "Okay well lets bring out you wife so we can find out what you did." Jerry grinned. "Please welcome-um there's no name here. Darrell's wife." (a/n I don't know her name)  
  
Darrell's wife walks out and smiles. "TAKE IT OFF I NEED ANOTHER NUT!" a guy shouted. Darrell's wife pulled a bazooka out of a thin air and blew the guy up. Darrell starts crying. "See I told you." He whimpered. Jerry looked skeptical. "Where'd you get that thing from?" he asked.  
  
"It came imported from Afghanistan special delivery from Osama bin Laden." Darrell's wife said. She took a seat next to Darrell and looked deep into his eyes.  
"I love you honey." She said. Her features suddenly turned evil. "But if you ever cheat on me I'll kill the stank hore and then cut your dick off shove it up your as. Dip a towel in gasoline stick it where your dick was. Light it on fire and watch you burn from the inside. Then cut your nipples off and stick um in your nose holes then finally shove your balls down your throat."  
  
Darrell began to cry harder. "Um that's not right." Jerry mumbled. "Well Darrel lets get this over with tell us why you're here." Jerry said with a devilish smile.  
  
"Um." Darrel began and took his wife shads between his. "Don't bullshit Darrell just fucking tell me!" Darrell swallowed hard and imagined his balls being shoved down his throat.  
  
"I've been unfaithful in our relationship." "You've been cheating?" she roared the flames of hell filled the room. "WITH WHO DARRELL!" her voice turned satanic. "One of the charmed ones." he spoke in a whisper.  
  
"WHO!"  
  
"Paige."  
  
Jerry started laughing. "Lets bring out-Darrell's wife does a dragon ball z move and blows him up. "GET OUT HERE NOW BITCH!" Darrell runs and hides behind a seat. Paige orbs in wearing a tight black leather skirt and a no sleeve tight leather shirt.  
  
"GOD DAMN I'DA CHEATED WITH HER FINE ASS TO!" before anything could happen Darrell's wife slapped the shit outta Paige then kicked her and slapped her into the audience. Paige flew up and came down tackling Darrell's wife out of view. Jerry stood up all black and burned crispy. "Well that's a load of bullshit." One of the audience members slapped the shit out of Jerry.  
  
Darrell stood up and tried to run but his legs froze. Paige stood up with five black eyes fifteen busted lips and almost all of her teeth missing. Darrell's wife has no teeth her eye is hanging out and one of her ears is missing. "WHERE DA FUCK U THINK U GO'N BITCH U DA MAIN CAUSE OF THIS HUR SHIT!" his wife screamed.  
  
"OH SHIT!" Darrell pulled his gun out and started shooting but the bullets froze in front of her and she picked one up and let them all drop. She ran forward and jumped inside Darrell's body. He screamed and exploded. (a/n I know I know Matrix rip off so what) Darrell's wife appeared back to normal and the audience was covered in blood guts and other stuff.  
  
One of the guys from the audience stood up. "WOOHO! THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF JERRY EVER! A LITTLE EYE CANDY, FREE SEX AND NOW SOME COOL SUVENIERS!" everybody nods their heads.  
"JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY." Jerry stands up and starts to do the Harlem Shake then the Clown Walk, C-Walk, B-Walk, and all that other good stuff. Tommy the Clown runs up and slaps Jerry's teeth out. "I'M THE BEST DANCER BITCH!"  
  
".damn it go to a commercial." Jerry moans.  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
Hey my devoted readers I love you and now I must thank you. If you want to read the most UN considerate review you'll ever read then read the review sent by bigreader. Now if he wasn't so busy being an a**hole he would have read my bio and found that I love Charmed and have three or four other stories beside this about Charmed.  
  
My Thanks To:  
  
Matt91- Good to see you to dog.  
  
Bigreader- actually I love Charmed probably more then you. I was tired of the same old Charmed fics so I put a twist on it. Thanks for the review anyway. I kinda enjoyed your flame.  
  
ChArMeD 101- thank you thank you 3RD COAST PLAYERS! 


	4. Islands of the Amazons

Disclaimer- I don't own Jerry Springer or the Charmed characters. Please don't sue me cause I'm only a little kid and I don't need to be in court anymore plus I'm in enough trouble already.  
  
Jerry Springer- My Life Is Charmed  
  
~_~_~_~_~_Summary~_~_~_~_~_~_  
  
The Charmed Characters go own the Springer show to resolve some family problems and revel some horribly (hilarious) secrets!  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
#4- Islands of the Amazons  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
Jerry is wheeled in his body in a full cast. The microphone is strapped to the top of his head and hanging over the spot where his mouth should be.  
  
"Hey everybody we're back. Sorry but that Tommy the Clown fellow caught me during the commercial and beat my ass some more. Of course I put up a good fight but his friends came and helped him beat me up I had him on the run."  
  
~Flashback~  
  
Jerry is pissing in the bathroom stall. "Oh yea, shake it once that's fine. Shake it twice that's okay, shake it three times baby, four, five, and six."  
  
Tommy the Clown walks in. "BITCH!" Jerry falls on the ground and starts screaming like a girl. "Uh, I ain't even, fuck it." Tommy starts stomping on Jerry and runs.  
  
"Go to a fucking commercial." Jerry moans. "You're alone in the bathroom Jerry." the bathroom butler says in a whisper.  
"Damn it."  
  
~End Flashback~  
  
"YOU SUCK JERRY HE KICKED YOUR ASS!" Jerry starts to cry. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST QUIT MOANING LIKE A WITTLE BITCH AND BRING OUT THE NEXT GUESS ASSHOLE!"  
  
"Fine then," he sobs. "Our next guests *sniff* are here to tell the man they slept with *sniff, sniff* that their all pregnant. Ladies come on out." Jerry cries some more.  
  
In a straight line one by one all of the women from the Amazon Island walk out and line up. Each holding one child some three and one had six. Finally 50 women later they finally crowd onto the stage and stand their proudly holding there mans children.  
  
"Hey ladies." Jerry said stop crying. "So all of you had sex with this one man?"  
  
"That's right Jerry," one of them said. "He fooled us all and slept with us then left the island and was gone. We're here to tell him. WE WANT OUR FUCKING CHILD SUPPORT!"  
  
Jerry snickers. "We'll let's bring out the poor asshole-I mean let's bring him out. Here is Chris!"  
  
Chris walks out looking confused and angry. He sits down roughly and folds his arms then crosses his legs. "HE SITS LIKE A GIRL!" Chris uncrosses them. "No I don't I just did it to look cool." He said back. "WELL YA DON'T LOOK COOL YA LOOK LIKE A DUMB BROAD WITH NOT TITS!"  
  
"Shut the hell up." Chris mumbles. "WHAT WAS THAT?" "Nothing, nothing. So hey Jerry why am I here with all these beautiful Amazon women and children? Hey you guys had kids?"  
  
"THERE YOURS DUMB ASS!" an Amazon shoots the guy with an arrow. "COOL MAN THIS IS THE BEST! I GOT A SUVINER ARROW IN MY HEART!" the guy shouts then collapses. The crowd claps with applause.  
  
"Those Amazons are so giving." One of them whispers. "Uh-huh it's not everyday you get an arrow in the heart." "I WANT AN ARROW TO! ME TO! YEA ME TO!" Amazons start shooting everybody in the audience. "THANKS A MILLION!" the crowd screams then everybody falls down dead.  
  
"You are very much welcome." The Amazon leader says. "Now Chris we are all here to tell you that these are your fucking kids and we want some god damn child support from you!"  
  
"Hell yea we ain't raising no half Amazon half white lighter bastard children on our own!"  
  
"FUCK YEA!"  
  
Chris looks shocked. "Mine all mine? Please didn't a couple of you fuck Leo to?" Piper runs out. "WHO FUCKED LEO!?!" the Amazons point at Chris. "OH SO YOURE GAY TO HUH CHRIS? I'LL TEACH YA COCK SUCK'N ASS TO FUCK MY EX-HUSBAND!" Piper freezes Chris then blows him up.  
  
"Hey now we can't get no child support! GET HER!" the Amazons jump Piper and beat her to a bloody pulp.  
  
"HEY IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER COMMERCIAL AND I AIN'T SAID NOTHING IN LIKE 15 LINES. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?" Jerry screams at me.  
  
"OH YOU WANT SOME TO?" the amazons start beating up Jerry.  
  
Tommy the Clown walks out. "Oh damn, he ain't gone move for a while. Go to a commercial."  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_  
  
Hey well another chapter done. Not to many left now about two or three.or maybe one. I'm running out of Charmed characters. If you have a pair that I haven't done yet then tell me in the review otherwise the next chapter is the last. I've done Phoebe, Cole, Piper, Leo, Chris, Darrell + his wife, Chris, and the Amazons. I've got two more characters left for a special surprise so unless you got anymore characters in mind you wanna see on the show. "I See the Source," is the next and final chapter.  
  
My thanks 2:  
  
The Drow Elf Drizzt - any day now he'll crack any day.  
  
Afro - Leo cheated at a gay MENs club he was with several guys and possibly Chris to.  
  
ChArMeD 101 - 3RD COAST PLAYERS 4 LIFE DOG!  
  
MauraC - every body a critic  
  
Matt91 - thank u thank u 


	5. I See the Source

Disclaimer- I don't own Jerry Springer or the Charmed characters. Please don't sue me cause I'm only a little kid and I don't need to be in court anymore plus I'm in enough trouble already.  
  
Jerry Springer- My Life Is Charmed  
  
~_~_~_~_~_Summary~_~_~_~_~_~_  
  
The Charmed Characters go own the Springer show to resolve some family problems and revel some horribly (hilarious) secrets!  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
Final - I See the Source  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
Jerry is practically crippled tears run down his cheeks and he moans in pain with every word. "I am so happy this is the last part of the show today. It's been a wild episode folks. Lets do a little recalling shall we?" the crowd cheers crazily.  
  
~ Everybody looks up into nowhere and the screen gets all blurry for a cheesy flashback~  
  
#1- The Demon and the Witch  
  
"Cole's an asshole and you all know it. I make a spell up in my head then I flow it. Kill that cock strangler dead as a doornail. Please oh please god  
don't let this weak ass spell fail!"  
  
Cole blew up filling the room with chunks of demon shit. Jerry stood up and smiled. "Well when we get back from our commercial break we'll have the next half of our show." The crowd went crazy when Phoebe took her cloths off and started dancing but naked on the stage.  
  
#2- The Witch and the Elder  
  
"You ain't got no fucking business to attend to!" Piper screamed. "You just want to go back to the Gay Men's Strip Joint!"  
  
Steve holds up a sign that says gasp and the crowd gasps. "The fine ones are always gay!" a girl shouted from the crowd. "It's not a gay strip joint it's a gay men's lounge get it right, okay?" the crowd gasps even more. "Leo how could you I'm all the love you'll ever need." Piper began. "These weren't good enough for you?" Piper pulled her shirt off and put her boobies in Leo's face.  
  
#3- I'm cheating With a Witch or whatever..  
  
"I love you honey." She said. Her features suddenly turned evil. "But if you ever cheat on me I'll kill the stank hoe and then cut your dick off shove it up your as. Dip a towel in gasoline stick it where your dick was. Light it on fire and watch you burn from the inside. Then cut your nipples off and stick um in your nose holes then finally shove your balls down your throat."  
  
Darrell began to cry harder. "Um that's not right." Jerry mumbled. "Well Darrel lets get this over with tell us why you're here." Jerry said with a devilish smile.  
  
#4- Islands of the Amazons  
  
"Shut the hell up." Chris mumbles. "WHAT WAS THAT?" "Nothing, nothing. So hey Jerry why am I here with all these beautiful Amazon women and children? Hey you guys had kids?"  
  
"THERE YOURS DUMB ASS!" an Amazon shoots the guy with an arrow. "COOL MAN THIS IS THE BEST! I GOT A SUVINER ARROW IN MY HEART!" the guy shouts then collapses. The crowd claps with applause.  
  
"Those Amazons are so giving." One of them whispers. "Uh-huh it's not everyday you get an arrow in the heart." "I WANT AN ARROW TO! ME TO! YEA ME TO!" Amazons start shooting everybody in the audience. "THANKS A MILLION!" the crowd screams then everybody falls down dead.  
  
"You are very much welcome." The Amazon leader says. "Now Chris we are all here to tell you that these are your fucking kids and we want some god damn child support from you!"  
  
~the screen gets blurry again and the cheesy flashback is over~  
  
"Man this has been the best episode of Jerry Springer ever!" somebody shouts. "JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!" the start chanting his name.  
  
"Dude it's good to hear that again.and not tits, or take it off or I'm the baddest bitch." Jerry wipes the tear from his eye. "Alright for your viewing pleasure we have the final segment of our show please welcome THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL!"  
  
The Source floats out covered in a red robe and his hood on. He sits down and waves at the crowd setting Kenny the camera man on fire. (A/n Kenny ain't real)  
  
"Oops sorry about that." He says.  
  
"I'M ON FIRE!"  
  
"Hey Source of all evil how's it hanging?" jerry asked.  
  
"OH GOD PUT THE FIRE OUT IT BURNS!"  
  
"Please Jerry you can just call me Source." The source replied.  
  
"Of course of course," Jerry begins. "So Source you have no idea why you're hear do ya?"  
  
"JESUS CHRIST I'M BURNING I'M BURNING!" Kenny runs around in a circle.  
  
"No Jerry no idea at all." The Source said happily.  
  
"Well let me tell you your not gonna like it one bit my friend." Jerry starts laughing.  
  
"Oh Jerry my first time on the show and you give me bad news." The Source said. "You'll burn extra long for this one."  
  
Kenny runs into the wall.  
  
"Well let's bring out somebody real close to you." Jerry smiled. "THE SEER!"  
  
The Source stood up as the Seer walked out and smiled at everybody. She had a bundle in her hand though.  
  
"Aw Seer it's so good to see you."  
  
Kenny trips and rolls down the stairs to the stage.  
  
"I'M STILL ON FIRE PEOPLE!"  
  
The source leads the seer to her seat and they hold hands like long time friends would do.  
  
"Hurry up and tell him!" Jerry exclaimed impatiently.  
"Tell me what?" the Source asked looking at the Seer.  
  
"Well Sourcey wourcey you remember that night at the Crons party. You know with all the beers and that huge bong filled with weed and the more beers and more weed and that huge orgy we had with all the demons?" the Seer asked.  
  
"Hell yea I remember that shit that was the best fucking night of my life. I lost my virginity and had sex 20 different times in one night!" the Source said stupidly.  
  
"Well I got pregnant and the baby is yours." The Seer moved the blue cloth and showed an ugly baby sitting in her arms.  
  
"AH Quasimodo!" the source screams and falls from his seat.  
  
"YOU DUMB FUCKS I'M STILL ON FIRE!" Kenny runs by the camera and trips then gets back up and starts running again.  
  
"Don't call your son the Hunchback of Notre Dam that's very rude." The Seer said rubbing what looked like the babies penis in the middle of the broken mess called a face.  
  
"Screw you bitch that ugly piece a shit ain't my son!" the Source stands up.  
  
"Aw I see so you ain't man enough to take care a yo kid huh?" the Seer grumbled.  
  
"My kid? Bitch you had sex with 50 different demons that night how da hell you know its mine?" Source started sweating.  
  
"Hey that's not the proper way to handle this situation you bastard! Your supposed to kill the kid." Somebody screamed from the crowd.  
  
"Good idea!" the Source charged up a fireball but his hood fell off revealing his identity.  
  
"HOLY SHIT ITS COLE TURNER!" Kenny screamed forgetting his was still on fire for a second. "DAMN IT I'M STILL ON FIRE!" he runs into the wall again.  
  
Phoebe runs out pulling her shirt on and rubbing her mouth off followed by Chris and two Amazons. "Cole I killed your ass!"  
  
Cole threw a fireball and Phoebe levitated over it. She kicked him in the face and he punched her in the stomach she rubbed his shoulder and he grabbed her boobs then they started fucking. Chris turned to the two Amazons and they started fucking. The crowd turned to each other and they started fucking.  
"Well what a way to end the most electrifying episode of my show goodnight everybody." Jerry starts waving but nobody is listening because of the huge orgy that's going on behind them.  
  
Kenny runs up beside Jerry still on fire. "Actually Jerry the producer said that the show is going so well with witches and demons and junk that they went and found some more people to be on the show. So when the orgy is done get ready for a few more segments."  
  
Kenny pulls his fiery pants down and sticks his flaming penis inside a girl and they start fucking.  
  
"Oh no." Jerry moaned.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
Thanks to all those who gave me ideas and their coming up in the next chapters so be patient I will post them later. 


	6. You Guys Are Gonna Hate Me

Authors Note  
  
You people are going to hate me for this but I'm fresh outta ideas and making anymore chapters would result in more UN funny stupid ones like the last one. I've done it all. It was a good run and now it's come to an end. Sorry to all those who I promised who I'm make your ideas I can't think of anything but here's the deal okay.  
  
I promised that you'd get your ideas posted and I'll do it but you have to write it yourself and email it to me and I'll post it. Sound good. So Matt91 you write what you wanted in an email and I'll post it but be sure to sign it with your own screen name and stuff okay. And even any later readers that come up you can email me chapters and I'll post um it doesn't matter how many or how long it is I'll post it.  
  
Thanks for reading especially ChArMeD-101 you was the best review.3RD COAST PLAYERS FOR LIFE! And Matt91 your idea would have been hilarious but I'm dry on funny man sorry. 


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